Welcome Today's Featured Author
Helen
Downing!!!
Awake
in Hell
By
Helen
Downing
Meet Louise Patterson. She's dead.
She's also in Hell: A place where
everyone must face the challenges of being damned. This includes
below code living arrangements, a supernatural closet that makes
getting dressed every day punitive, and absolutely horrible coffee.
When Louise was alive, she was one
of those “Go Big or Go Home” kinda people. As an underworld
dweller, she’s getting used to the fact that living “larger than
life” may have had some not-so-great consequences in the afterlife.
That is until she loses her job in
Hell. In her search for gainful employment in Central City, Hades,
she finds a post-it note that gives her something to look forward to
for the first time since arriving down below.
Louise discovers the “Second
Chance Temp Agency” along with its enigmatic CEO Mr. Deedy, who
gives her so much more than a job.
Foul-mouthed and seemingly unlucky,
Louise gets pulled into a truly Hellacious adventure--filled with
demons, ghosts, angels, magic, temp jobs, wardrobe malfunctions, and
quite possibly…redemption.
Excerpt
Here comes the part
you’ve been waiting for, the part where I tell you how I got here.
See, the note that is now sitting quietly in my pocket is screaming
in my mind. Do I belong here? I can’t honestly say I know, without
a doubt, that I deserved to go to Hell. However, I do know that I
didn’t in any way, shape, or form earn a ticket to Heaven either. I
didn’t do anything. And I don’t mean that as an indignant “I
was framed” kind of defense. I mean I didn’t do anything with my
time, with my talent, with my life. I was born Louise May Patterson.
All things considered, I had a normal childhood and a very nice set
of parents. I was in my mid-forties when I bit it, but I was still
acting like a teenager. I lived at home with the aforementioned
parents, or on the street, or with the occasional lover. I was always
managing to never pay a single dime in rent, ate for free, and never
reached the mentality of a true adult. I used to joke with Linda,
back when she was still partying, that if I ever got a job she should
shoot me in the head and put me out of my misery. We would laugh at
all the “rats running the maze” every day, going to work at
‘o’dark thirty’ in the morning to try and screw the other rats
out of the title of “assistant manager of paper clip requisitions”,
or something equally meaningless. Wake up, rush through a cup of
coffee, spend nine to five at a job they all hated, go home and go to
bed just to do it again the next day. That was never me, and never
would have been me. I mean, really, what’s the point?
So, every day was a
holiday for me and those in my circle at the time. This circle I
speak of was always changing. My “lost boys and girls”, because
everyone else grew up and left me. It didn’t bother me much. They
all thought they were smarter than me, and I knew I was smarter than
all of them. I would move on just as they moved on. I’d take on the
newly single, the addicts, the newcomers to town, the young ones...
Occasionally I’d find a sugar daddy, usually a married one, to take
me away from the small, one-horse town, where I grew up and still
lived.
But I always came
back. It might have been the charm of my home town that drew me back,
but I sincerely doubt it. More likely, my adulterer and I just got
bored with each other. I’d tell you the name of that town, where it
is on a map, what great state it sits smack dab in the middle of, if
it mattered. But it doesn’t.
About the Author
Helen Downing has
aspired to be many things in life. An actress, a writer, a trophy
wife, a publicist, and a bang up media sales executive. In reality,
she's a chubby, middle-aged, twice-divorced battleaxe who is addicted
to sci-fi and social networking. Please buy this book. It's her only
chance of ever fulfilling her full potential, and possibly getting
into heaven.
Helen
Downing on Social Media
Beaucoup Publishing
http://www.beaucoupllcpublishing.com/helen-downing/
Other
books from Helen Downing
Remembering Hell
mybook.to/rememberinghell!
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