Sunday, May 28, 2017

Featured Author: Andrew Mackay


Welcome Today's Featured Author
Andrew Mackay!!





The Teacher: How to Survive the Teaching Profession Without Losing Your Mind 
(In Their Shoes Book 1)
By Andrew Mackay
4.99 OR FREE ON KU

Praise for In Their Shoes - The Teacher
"... very funny... with an irreverent and acerbic tone!"
"Very funny... dark and twisted in places... would definitely recommend!"
"Hilarious and dark!"
"Shocking and funny. A definite must-read!"

Blurb:
Cheating, lying, cutting class... and that's just the staff!!
Why are teachers leaving the profession, skipping work with stress and dying less than a year after retirement?
Rachel is one of the high school’s best teachers. She gets on well with everyone. The kids like her. The staff like her less, but only because the kids like her and not them.
But annoying managers, obnoxious students, needlessly excessive paperwork, useless training sessions and catastrophic amounts of marking have Rachel wondering if she should just quit and pursue her dreams of becoming a writer.
Meet fresh-faced and eager journalist Joy Attwood. She's about to spend the day with Rachel to discover what being a high school teacher is really like. No frills, no red carpet, no gimmicks - just straight into the S#!T!
Rachel will reveal all her underhand tricks of the trade - from managing unruly behaviour, to cutting corners when marking work - for the sake of the book you're about to read. Joy has picked one of the worst days to follow this pi$$ed off high school teacher.
Can Joy survive the day without wanting to kill someone, or will Rachel beat her to it?



The Actor: Surviving Celebrity Gossip, Fame and Social Media (In Their Shoes Book 2)
By Andrew Mackay
4.99 OR FREE ON KU

Praise for In Their Shoes - The Actor
"... very funny... with an irreverent and acerbic tone!"
"Very funny... dark and twisted in places... would definitely recommend!"
"Hilarious and dark!"
"Shocking and funny. A definite must-read!"

Blurb:
British actor Pat Cake is trying hard to be everybody... but himself.
Well-known character actor Pat Cake has made quite a name for himself in British crime movies. After all he has accomplished, landing the pivotal role in the new sequel, Jesus Christ Social Media Star, in London’s West End was just another feather in his cap.
For Joy Attwood this new assignment is raising the stakes. Last time out she accidentally left her subject without a job. This time, she’ll have to convince the media spotlight that she’s not providing Pat with a different kind of ‘job'!
Throughout her tumultuous day, Joy will have her fingers smashed in a car door, been on the receiving end of obnoxious and vulgar film crews and become the target of the most salacious social media backlash since [name removed on legal advice]’s incident with that gerbil and the drugs.
Joy discovers that sometimes the bright lights of the big stage aren’t quite as gleaming as you might think. As Pat helps Joy navigate the cutthroat world of acting, her biggest challenge just might come from getting too involved with the subject she’s following. Can Joy survive the day under the watchful eye of the adoring public? Or will her anxious and shy demeanour give her up as a fool in front of thousands of people? 




The Model: A Vicious Satire on the Modelling Industry (In Their Shoes Book 3)
By Andrew Mackay
4.99 OR FREE ON KU


Praise for In Their Shoes - The Model
"… A glamorous nightmare… I loved almost every devastating page!"
"Very funny... dark and twisted in places... would definitely recommend!"
"… He kept this reader constantly guessing as to what could possible happen next!"
"Shocking and funny. A definite must-read!"

Blurb
I Know What You Wore Last Summer.
Well-known Russian Supermodel, Oksana Volkov, scratched and clawed her way to the top of London’s most notable fashion runways. Highly sought-after and ruthless, the Russian diva is under no illusion that her career is threatened by younger models emerging onto the scene.
Armed with a brash disposition and a bitter resolve to end her career on a strong note, Oksana readies herself to face the crowds of the hottest fashion event in London – The Synapse/Vladychestvo Fashion Show - and kill the runway one last time. And maybe a few of the other models while she’s at it!
For journalist Joy Attwood this new assignment is so much more than simply raising the stakes, it is critical to her success. Despite feeling responsible for the events on the West End Stage, Joy knows without a doubt that unless she can reign in her personal flaws, everything she has worked for will be gone in the blink of an eye.
When a questionable request from one of the fashion industry’s most famous players forces her to test the boundaries of her own morality, Joy finds herself walking a very anorexic line; the most dangerous she has yet to cross in the name of journalism.
With all eyes watching the splendour of the fashion world, Joy discovers that some things are not always what they seem. All runway lights cast shadows. Just how far will she go to discover the truth beyond the curtain? Can Joy survive the bright lights of the runway stage?

And what’s the deal with the new fashion trends “selfie/harm” and “Tyrannarexia”?




In Their Shoes Trilogy
8.99 OR FREE ON KU
By Andrew Mackay



Praise for the In Their Shoes series
"... totally irreverent, brash, controversial, vulgar, politically incorrect ... a wild ride!"
"Very funny... dark and twisted in places... would definitely recommend!"
"… kept this reader constantly guessing as to what could possibly happen next!"
"Shocking and funny. A definite must-read!"


Meet newbie journalist Joy Attwood. She’s fresh-faced, eagle-eyed, bushy-tailed… and totally out of her depth!

Rammed-solid with amazing illustrations by Kreacher, In Their Shoes: The Trilogy is the first three best selling books in the groundbreaking series from Chrome Valley Books and British author Andrew Mackay. Tag along with journalist Joy Attwood, as she follows a different profession for the day to find out what their job is really like…

The Teacher (Book I) – Cheating, lying, cutting class… and that’s just the staff! Joy Attwood, fresh from redundancy at her safe manager job, decides to become a journalist. This first assignment has her follow stressed-out and hungover high school teacher Rachel Weir. The kids are unruly. Rachel's colleagues are mad, boring or on the brink of self-destruct. Can Joy successfully teach a class of her own... ?

The Actor (Book II) – After the success of The Teacher (well, apart from what happened to Rachel, anyway) our intrepid and hungry journalist Joy Attwood follows British actor Pat Cake for the day. Together they’ll attend auditions, voice-overs, film sets, theatre shows and incur the wrath of the salacious media. Joy will be the centre of attention, left to fend for herself, and right up s#!t creek without a paddle!

The Model (Book III) - The universe made a mistake when it made supermodel Oksana Volkov. The media insists she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. She has taken the fashion world by storm. Her time is nearly up, though – she’s getting older and younger ‘meat’ is lining up to take her place. Joy Attwood joins her for the day and finds that she, too, is not immune to the allure of glamour and vast sums of money. Will Joy break her own moral code of values and decency to get the story she really wants? The Model is an unflinching satirical masterpiece with an unforgettable and shocking conclusion.

If you love British humor, satire and suspense (think John Cleese, Helen Fielding, Tom Sharpe, Kurt Vonnegut and Imogen Edwards-Jones) then pick up In Their Shoes - The Trilogy now!
Read In Their Shoes - The Trilogy for FREE with your Kindle Unlimited subscription and look for it under Humor and Satire.











The Artist: An Explosive, Action-Packed Thrill Ride! (In Their Shoes Book 4)
By Andrew Mackay
4.99 OR FREE ON KU

Praise for In Their Shoes - The Artist:
"... Totally irreverent, brash, controversial, vulgar, politically incorrect ... a wild ride!"
"Very funny... dark and twisted in places... would definitely recommend!"
"Hilarious and dark!"
"Shocking and funny. A definite must-read!"

Blurb:
First, they smashed the art scene. Now they’ll smash the system.

Artist Jake Priestley has made quite a name for himself at a young age. Claiming the coveted Soul Flame Grand Prize of seven million euros had been more of a stroke of dumb luck than intentional tenacity. But that was nothing compared to the immense art event being held in Paris. As Jake and his team, The Chemical Collective, gear up for the big day ahead of them, there is nothing that will stop him from taking home the Grand Prize…
For journalist Joy Attwood the stakes have become stratospheric. And that’s a hell of a height to fall from!
With her marriage torn apart by a single, ill-fated decision to erase all traces of her runway encounters, there is no doubt that her life is spiraling, out of control. But when the days with Jake turn from bizarre to downright terrifying she finds herself in the midst a terrifying heist situation.

This time that she’s bitten off more than she can chew. And as for swallowing…

Can Joy Attwood survive the dark streets of Paris? Or will The Artist’s true colours prove to be the last thing she ever sees? The fate of an iconic landmark is at stake.

Joy fears that the only way out this time could be in a body bag.

The Artist is the fourth book in the groundbreaking series from Chrome Valley Books and British 
 author Andrew Mackay.




In Their Shoes Book 5 The Nurse
By Andrew Mackay
4.99 OR FREE ON KU


Praise for In Their Shoes - The Nurse


"The Nurse captures and intensifies the chaos and bureaucracy of working in the health service. It will reduce the reader to tears of outrage, shock and hilarity!" - Jo Taylor, Student Nurse, UK"

It’ll take a bucket-load of guts, heart and patients to survive this one!

The inpatients are getting impatient.
The psychiatric ward is losing its mind.
The maternity ward is suffering a midwife crisis.

Welcome to the graveyard shift at Shotterlay General Hospital.

It’s chucking-out time at the bars on Valentine’s weekend, and chucking up time down at the hospital. The poor, sick and infirm in the waiting area are revolting… in more ways than one!

Soon, Shotterlay’s Accident & Emergency department won’t be so much A-OK, as DOA. None of this will stop Sangita Gallagher, though. She’s the hospital’s charge nurse and runs an incredibly tight ship; expediently plugging holes in the paperwork, shift patterns and her patients’ gory wounds.

Tonight’s medical mayhem will be journalist Joy Attwood’s toughest assignment yet. It’ll involve copious amounts of violence, blood, vomit, mucous, amniotic fluid, lacerations, fractures, amputations, heart attacks, fornication and pulling things out of unwashed bottoms.

It’s absolute chaos and should really come with a trigger warning!

If you love British humor, satire and gross-out farce (think John Cleese, Helen Fielding, Tom Sharpe, Kurt Vonnegut and Imogen Edwards-Jones) then you cannot afford to miss out on In Their Shoes - The Artist!

Read In Their Shoes - The Nurse for FREE with your Kindle Unlimited subscription and look for it under Humor and Satire.





In Their Shoes The Professional Collection
By Andrew Mackay
9.99 or FREE on KU

"... about as brilliant and funny as writing can get..."
My mouth was hanging open and my heart was racing. Damn, Andrew is good at what he does!!!!!”

Meet your new favourite superhero, Joy Attwood. She’s a loving wife, fearsome journalist… and way in over her head!


In Their Shoes: The Professional Collection is the first five books in this screamingly funny British satire series chronicling the outrageous adventures of Joy Attwood as she joins a profession for the day.

This special edition collection features exclusive illustrations by series artist Kreacher, each one signed by both he and author Andrew Mackay.


Included in this collection:

The Teacher (Book I) – Cheating, lying, cutting class… and that’s just the staff! Joy Attwood, fresh from redundancy at her safe manager job, decides to become a journalist. This first assignment has her follow stressed-out and hungover high school teacher Rachel Weir – with shocking results! The Teacher is the best-selling, groundbreaking British satire that kicks off the In Their Shoes series...

πŸŽ₯The Actor (Book II) – Joy joins British actor Pat Cake for the day in London. They’ll attend auditions, voice-overs, film sets, theatre shows and incur the wrath of the salacious media. Joy will be the centre of attention, left to fend for herself, and right up s#!t creek without a paddle!

πŸ’ƒThe Model (Book III) - Joy follows supermodel Oksana Volkov with very unexpected results. Can Attwood resist the money in exchange for everything she holds dear? Will her newly acquired investigative skills ultimately get her in trouble? In Oksana Volkov, Joy may finally have met her match.

investigative skills ultimately get her in trouble? In Oksana Volkov, Joy may finally have met her match.

🎨 The Artist (Book IV) - Join the Fight. That’s what Joy did quite inadvertently when Jake Priestley suggested he follow him for the day. But Jake is no ordinary artist, and his gang, The Chemical Collective is no ordinary bunch of vandals. His agenda will put an iconic European landmark at stake and Joy Attwood right in the firing line.

πŸ’‰The Nurse (Book V) - Blood, vomit, mucous, amniotic fluid, lacerations, fractures, amputations, heart attacks, fornication and pulling things out of bottoms. Tonight’s medical menu is absolute chaos… and should really come with a trigger warning!

If you love British humor, satire and suspense (think John Cleese, Helen Fielding, Tom Sharpe, Kurt Vonnegut and Imogen Edwards-Jones) then pick up In Their Shoes: The Professional Collection right now!

Read In Their Shoes - The Professional Collection for FREE with your Kindle Unlimited subscription and look for it under Humor and Satire.




In Their Shoes: The Dealer
By Andrew Mackay

5.99 or FREE On KU



Joy Attwood, successful and fearless journalist? Call me D-REZ.

If you...
Fuck up a task
Go to the police
Ask any questions
Tell anyone about me, or
Try to run…

I will kill you.”



About Andrew Mackay
Some authors dare not cross the line. International Best-selling author Andrew Mackay makes it his starting point.
A novelist, screenwriter and former teacher, Mackay is the creator of groundbreaking satire series ‘In Their Shoes’; the hilarious and often shocking journey of fictional newbie journalist Joy Attwood. The first two books in the series (The Teacher and The Actor) are best sellers in Amazon’s “satire” category (UK and US).
Self-proclaimed "Antisocial Justice Warrior" Mackay is also founder of Chrome Valley Books - “The Home of Dangerous Fiction”. Never knowingly inoffensive, his works often contain a ruthless commentary on society, delving into the more darker and disturbing machinations of modern life - but always with a sense of humanity and wit.
His influences include John Cleese, Tom Sharpe, Kurt Vonnegut, James Patterson, Hunter S Thompson, Douglas Adams, Imogen Edwards-Jones, Michael Frayn, Chris Morris, Jerry Sadowitz, Christopher Hitchins, Bill Maher, George Carlin, Milo Yiannopoulos and Larry Cohen.
One of the UK's most dedicated provocateurs and contrarians, his obsessions include (and are essentially limited to) unhealthy amounts of: smoking, drugs, alcohol, caffeine, sex, arguing, fighting, vandalism, conjuring up hilarious and nasty situations for his characters and writing about himself in the third person.
Subscribe to Chrome Valley Books and get a free short story ‘One Size Fits All’, the prequel to ‘In Their Shoes’, at http://bit.ly/subcvb


Places where you can find me
Website
Facebook Author Page
Facebook Group
Amazon Author Page
Goodreads
Twitter
YouTube





WE’RE LOOKING FOR ARC READERS!

πŸ“˜πŸ“˜πŸ“˜πŸ“˜
Are you a fan of laughing so much you think you may need medical assistance?
✮✮Are you a fan of humor books with a good dose of satire?
✮✮✮Have you heard of International best selling British satire author Andrew Mackay’? If not, WHY NOT?!
✮✮✮✮Are you a fan of being a part of an exclusive gang and winning awesome prizes?
πŸ“˜πŸ“˜πŸ“˜πŸ“˜
Here is your chance to become a part of an exclusive gang - before it’s too late!

How it works:
We send you In Their Shoes: The Trilogy. You read and review it at your own leisure.
Once you have finished, leave a review at Amazon US and UK (Mandatory). Goodreads is a bonus.
We send the next book.
Rinse, wash and repeat.
You will always be the first to receive pre-released copies. At the moment, there is a new release around once a month.
Starting June 7th we are starting a new contest! There will be a 70.00 gift card given away each month on the 7th if you have the book read and reviewed that was chosen for that month! We ask that you read and review on Amazon US and UK

Being a member of Andrew’s ARC/Fan Facebook group has many benefits. Apart from reducing you to tears of outrage, shock and hilarity, you also get exclusive stuff; what he’s working on next, giveaways, prizes, freebies and jars of his fluids*.


❤❤If there is a new release that comes out you will get that one first. With each new release there is a contest for ARC members. The contest consists of three different prizes. Usually a sizeable Amazon GC being the biggest. A signed paperback shipped at no cost to you anywhere in the world. And prize number three will be a bit different every time. Depends on what Andrew wants.
✮✮✮✮SO what the f**k are you waiting for?! Join NOW by filling in the form, below!
πŸŽ₯ πŸŽ₯ Watch this! In Their Shoes: The Nurse (Book V) Chapter 5: "Brown Girl In The Ring." As read by Amazon Best-Selling author, Andrew Mackay.

*Subject to availability. (And probably a signed paperback, rather than a jar of cum.)


Be sure to check out the amazing giveaway on the Chrome Valley Books page. The prize is a 100.00 gift card, A signed paperback And a personalized email from Joy Attwood herself! It is the pinned post follow this link http://bit.ly/2qrz7ri

 

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