Featured Author: Natalie Barnes

Welcome Today's Featured Author

Natalie Barnes!!!

  

Beautifully Chaotic

by Natalie Barnes 

 

These lies…

Don’t seem to hurt
Bend this soul.

Down to the earth

Why try… to feel the sting

It only, causes burn…

Wash away… all this dirt

Only me, is all who knows

Fading far, never be heard

And I try,
God, have I tried

To live again

With peace…
in my own soul

That’s desperately.

Begging for the end.

 

About Natalie Barnes

 

Hi… I’m Natalie Jean Barnes and let me tell you a little bit about myself. I was born on a rainy Thursday morning back in September during the great year of 85. My whole upbringing I lived on the Bay Mills Indian Reservation, and I’m so proud to be an Ojibwe Native. Loon clan representing. :} I also have a dab of some sweet Irish, German and Swed.

I was diagnosed with ADHD back in 1999 at the Mayo Clinic. I look back at that time and smile. For a few years, my parents had taken me to so many places in Michigan to see what was going on with me. They would all say that I was just a lazy kid. I know this is a little off subject, but I just have to say that I know some places are misdiagnosing ADHD. But ADHD is real! And get this! It’s not a disability, but a fucking GIFT! For real! I’ll be an ADHD advocate until my spirit travels on. We’re a different breed, yes, but holy shit, we’re awesome! ;)

I dropped out of school in only the ninth grade, but technically… I could’ve been a sophomore or even a junior, since I got held back in Kindergarten and failed 7^th grade. Not doing your homework and day dreaming fails you—no matter how much you try to bust ass in May, haha it just doesn’t work. After 7^th grade, I hung around for a couple years but dropped out in ninth. I used to regret dropping out of school, but finally realized, that it is what it is, and I may not be here today without that path.

So I ended up getting my GED and did some community college. When I was 22, I landed a cubical gig in Accounting as Accounts Payable. Straight up Office Space style, “Cooperates Accounts Payable…” haha. Only different wording of course, just had to show you a glimpse of my work environment. I stayed working in that cubical gig up until November 7^th 2014. It was a Friday… I remember that, and it was chilly, but sunny. No snow yet, which was sweet for the area I live in.

I remember sitting at my desk. I shared my fabulous cubical area with two other desks, but only one of them was occupied. I remember not giving a particular fuck that day. After showing up late from lunch, I plopped down in my chair—just staring at my computer screen at Accufund, or whatever it was called. You see, by that point and how the environment there was… it wasn’t fresh so I just stopped caring. After my supervisor lectured me about being late and walked away, all I had to do was turn toward my co-worker and she knew…“You’re leaving now aren’t you?” Oh shit yeah! That’s when I decided to take the plunge. Leave the negativity and try to be a writer. I already published Everything I Want, which was still way below the radar…..since I had no idea what the hell I was doing. But I decided to just say “fuck it”, I didn’t want to live through life with what if’s…

After looking away from my co-worker, I turned and looked over at an older woman who worked in that accounting department for years. Aw my, she passed away now, but I remember seeing her there unhappy and tired, I didn’t want to live like that. Yeah, I probably would be caught up on bills, and have that steady paycheck, but I didn’t like the fact of coming in every day and sitting at a job that wasn’t my passion… just there for the check. I don’t know, but my heart broke at that moment.

I bent down and grabbed a box that was already sitting under my desk. I had planned on resigning after the New Year anyways to pursue writing, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. Fuck it! I know I may sink for a little, but I believe I’m pretty good at doggy paddling, so here I go. I shoved my shit in the box and brought it out to my van. Haha, I had a sweet huge GMC van at the time that took like five gallons of gas just to start. I was outta there and wasn’t looking back…

Yes, it was hard. Even still it’s hard, but I feel so good. Such a simple word to use, but honestly I can’t think of a better word. There’s been some shit times since then—with EVERYTHING, but I’m following my heart and spirit… and I know that I’m exactly right where I need to be.

Interview With Natalie Barnes:

1. Can you tell us a little about your books?

They’re love stories about broken and/or damaged souls. I like to go for beauty in ugly places.

2. What inspires you to write?

Music! Definitely music! If it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t be writing. How I get going is by jamming a song and during that time, a scene comes in. I always have music playing while I write.

3. When did you know you wanted to write a book?

I guess you could say writing was always with me. I would start making little story books back in second grade, but it wasn’t until I was in fifth, that I was invited to participate in the Young Authors program. I remember I tried attending a couple years before, but my stories never made it until the fifth grade.

In February 2014, I remember I was reading a ton of books really hard, and I couldn’t stop reading them, and then I kind of got to a period where some of the books I was reading at the time weren’t to the provocative edge I was looking for, so I figured why don’t I just write something that I would enjoy. When I first started writing Everything I Want, I didn’t plan on publishing it. I would just sit up in my bed and start typing in the notes section in my iPhone 4. When I was almost finished with the story, I figured I would just go ahead and try to self-publish it. After it was published my only thoughts were that it was pretty sweet and I hoped some others would enjoy it as much as I did writing it.

4. Do you work with an outline, or just write?

I just write. Sometimes, when a dialogue pops in my head, I hurry up and write it down so I won’t forget it. But usually I write as if I were reading it.

5. Do you have a favorite spot to write?      
   
   
    I only have one spot that I can actually “type.” But I do bring out a pen and notebook, once and while, and either sit in my car or on my deck. I live in the middle of nowhere, so it’s nice and peaceful. Being outside, I would have to say is my favorite spot to write.

6. Do you have a favorite food or drink you must have nearby when writing?
   
   
    Pepsi and cookies! And sometimes on occasion ;) a Coors light or a little Patron. 
    

7. Do you listen to music while you write?

I already answered this one, haha. Yes, I jam music while I create. Very inspirational.

8. Are you doing any Author Signing Event this year?

As of right now, I’m not doing any signings this year.

9. What are writing projects you currently working on?

I’m working on a little bonus section that my readers have wanted since Everything I Have. Other than that, I have to rest up because I’ll be starting my fifth book……hopefully sometime this summer! It’s way, way out of my comfort zone….on so many aspects, but I’m so excited to finally give him his voice. I’ve been slowly planning and preparing this one since I was writing Everything I Want.