Join
us while Victoria Klahr goes on tour with The Heart of a Reader and
her novel That's a
Promise. The book is
a re-release, published October 10 with Booktrope Publishing, and is
the first book in the Promises, Promises series.
About the
Book
Pain
isn’t new to me. I’ve been to hell only to find it never really
leaves when you get back. It haunts me through nightmares, unrequited
love, lies, broken hearts, and now death. A monster almost took my
life. My best friend carries half my soul a world away. My boyfriend
broke my heart but refuses to let me go. And my father is dead. I
don’t believe in fate and I don’t believe in happily-ever-afters,
but for some reason, I still hope. Live, even with a tainted spirit.
Long for my other half to come back to me. Risk another broken heart,
just to feel loved again. And refuse to let another horror break me.
In the face of my most recent tragedy, I have to decide whether
forgiveness is something I can give. But even if that’s an option,
can I be forgiven?
Enjoy
this excerpt from That's
a Promise:
I’m in a sea
of black. The beautiful May day gives no impression that there is any
sadness or grief in the air. It’s one of those days that you want
to spend outside, smelling the new blooming flowers, getting some
sun, and walking in the grass barefoot, but none of those things hold
any interest for me.
Everything is a blur
around me, a haze that mirrors my own depression. I know people are
talking to me, but I don’t hear them. They express sadness in their
words, but most of them never sympathized with us before today. They
talk as if they know us, but where were they before? They live their
lives talking shit behind people’s backs, but don’t see the
hypocrisy in their fake condolences.
I’ve learned to
ignore the whispers and stares, a lesson received repeatedly as I
grew up in what some would call an “unconventional” household.
Apparently punching everyone who bullies you isn’t the socially
acceptable way to handle things, so I try to just ignore them. I
don’t want or need to let any of their negativity in, so I remain
quiet. There’s been enough sadness in our lives, and there’s no
need for nasty words from nosey neighbors to pile onto that pain.
A person in a black
suit finishes shoveling dirt into the cold, deep grave. I focus on
the earth closing around the person I loved so immensely and to whom
I felt so close. The ground consumes the casket and takes my loved
one away into a lonely pit; permanently putting an end to the best
person I will ever know.
I look at my dad sitting next to me. He
is distraught, but well medicated for the occasion, only showing
emotion when he remembers he just lost the love of his life. He seems
to have aged ten years in the past week. He was once the strongest
and most commanding person I knew, but today, he looks like a child.
He doesn’t speak, doesn’t do anything except for the essentials.
He exists, but he’s not living. He looks up at me and I feel like
maybe he wants to reach out and say something to comfort me, but I
know his internal pain limits him from showing affection. I put my
hand on his shoulder to show I’m here, hoping he understands what I
mean.
People are finally leaving. Leaving us
behind to grieve together in peace. That’s a lie. There is no peace
for us, and there won’t be for a long time. With the preparations
for the funeral complete, I have all the time in the world to sit and
think about the gravity of what I just lost. That’s not peace.
That’s torture.
“Dad,” I say, “I think that maybe
we should head back to the house.” He sits there, giving no
indication that he heard me suggest our departure.
“Dad,” I try again, after a minute.
“Let’s say goodbye, and go home.” I can’t stand to be here
any longer.
He stands slowly and walks over to the
heap of dirt covering a life that was once vibrant and lively. He
collapses onto the mound, and at first I’m startled by the sudden
fall. Once I hear the heart wrenching sobs that escape his mouth, I
understand he is saying his goodbye. I hear him murmuring about his
undying love, and decide to give him some privacy.
I look toward the entrance of the
cemetery, shaking myself out of the haze that I was in. I don’t
even recall walking this far to get to the grave site, but I don’t
want to remember, so I don’t try to conjure up the memory.
A figure leans against one of the
nearby trees and I start to sweep my eyes past until recognition hits
me in the chest heavily. I don’t think he wanted to be seen, but he
was caught and he knows it. My throat starts to constrict and pain
obstructs my chest.
He hasn’t changed much since the last
time I saw him, except that he has no smile on his face today. He’s
still breathtakingly handsome… but he’s also still the asshole I
left behind at the café a year ago.
Why is he here?
How dare he show his face here on a day like today?
I’m in such a state
of shock that I lose concept of space and time. I stare at him for a
good two minutes before I jerk back to reality.
He gives me a small
wave and a slight lift of his beautiful lips. It is a sad and
withdrawn smile, enough for me to know he understands exactly what
happened.
I glare back at him,
not in any mood to be civil, and start stomping my way toward him,
intent on giving
him a piece of my
mind. He has no right to be here.
As I draw closer to
him, he pulls himself from the tree and approaches. We meet up and
stand so close I almost forget the reason why I came up to him. In my
mind’s stuttering state, he speaks first.
“Hi Josie.” His
deep, dominant voice washes over me, and I’m angry that it thrills
me to hear his voice again. I swallow down the warmth, and try to
keep my guard intact.
“What the hell are
you doing here?” I hiss. “I’m pretty sure I made it clear I
never wanted to see you again. How dare you show your face here?”
“Jo… I just
wanted to come and say how sorry I am about your loss. I heard about
Will, and I needed to come see how you were doing,” he responds,
sadness clear from the roughness of his voice.
Hearing him use my
nickname with his gentle tone makes me weak. I wrap my arms around my
body to try and keep my anger from being impacted by his kindness.
“I don’t want you
here,” I whisper, looking anywhere but at him. I don’t want him
to see me break down ever again, but between my loss and seeing him,
I don’t know if I will be able to hold back. In that one sentence,
filled with the longing and sadness that I didn’t want to show, I
made it clear to him that I’m still hurting over what happened.
“I understand. I
needed to make sure you’re okay. I know how hard this is for you.”
He slowly starts to reach out his hand, and while my cheek tingles at
the thought of him touching even an inch of my skin, I think he knows
that it’s unwelcome. As I turn the slightest fraction away, he lets
his hand fall back to his side, a look of regret crossing his face.
“I can’t do this.
Dad needs me right now. I have to take him back to the house,” I
say, wanting to get rid of him and the memories he is bringing back.
“Let me stay with you for the day. We
can catch up and I can help you with things. Today is tough as it is,
let me help,” he says, confidence and determination starting to
come back into his personality. This is the man I knew.
I hear footsteps behind me as my dad
walks up to us. He stands there, lost in a world I don’t want to
enter. He said his goodbye and now he’s retreated back into his
shell. I look up at my unexpected visitor and get ready to tell him
goodbye for the last time.
“Mr. Sommers, I am so sorry for your
loss,” he says softly to my dad. “Josie and I were talking about
heading back to the house to catch up and throw away some of the food
your neighbors sent over.” He gives me a sly smile and then returns
his attention to my dad. “Would one extra person be okay?”
My dad grunts and gives a barely
noticeable nod, and we both know him well enough to know that he has
accepted the offer. I shake my head at his response.
“Dad, go ahead to the car. I’ll be
there in a couple minutes,” I say, hoping to convince Blake Porter
to leave. When Dad is almost at the car, I whip myself around to
scowl at the same stubborn Blake I used to know. He has a small cocky
smirk playing on his lips, and I don’t like how distractingly
handsome he still is.
“You need to leave and never come
back around here or me again. I can barely even look at you without
wanting to punch you in your stupid face!”
The last part is only partially true; a
part of me wants to hit him again, and the other part wants to kiss
him. His smile grows a little after he hears me say that, because he
knows me well enough to figure out that I really do want to hit him.
“I get that you never wanted to see
me again after the last time, Josie. Just let me be here for you
today. Let me be your friend this one time. I can help. You know I
can help,” he says sincerely. I know he can help, but that scares
me.
I take a deep breath and try to sort
out my thoughts. He is the last person I need to be talking to, and
the second person I’ve wanted to talk to since this happened. I
know exactly who is standing before me, and I know without a doubt
that if I let him back in, I will be hurt and betrayed all over
again.
Giveaway
About the
Author
Victoria
Klahr (pronounced “Claire”) lives in Elizabeth City, North
Carolina with her husband and daughter, Stephen and Alexis. She loves
her chug (Pug/Chihuahua), Bandit, and daughter to pieces. She is a
huge and proud book nerd who looks at her bookshelf in admiration
daily. When she’s not daydreaming about book boyfriends and
fantasizing about being a badass heroine like Rose Hathaway, she’s
busy doing schoolwork for her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and
writing the stories that speak to her in her head. She loves peanut
butter with Oreos, good friends, amazing gossip, driving in the
middle of merge lanes, comedies, crude humor, pretending like she can
dance, pretending like she can kick major ass, and a really, really
good laugh.
Social
Media Links:
victoriaklahrauthor@gmail.com
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7304003.Victoria_Klahr§
http://victoriaklahrwrites.blogspot.com/§
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